Excruciating. I actually found myself wishing for an animated snowman to ask Willard "Mittens" Romney a question.
The pain was almost unbearable. If you can bear through it with me, without undeserved schadenfreude, follow along after the jump.
When RINO Rudy Giuliani spoke I could hear Ethel Murman belting out a show tune while I saw Giuliani Girl giving The Apprentice a wet snog on the mouth.
As maverick John McCain said his piece, only a buzzing sound was audible. This man will never become President, in my lifetime or his.
As Huckabee and Thompson orated, the snores from the audience drowned out their words.
As The Tanc droned on about his single issue, those evil immigrants, I wished I had some paint so I could watch it dry.
As Hunter spoke my mind wandered to thoughts of a Hunter/Thompson ticket. Why did Hunter Thompson pull the trigger? Did somebody help him? Was he murdered or was it his time to go?
As Truther Ron Paul blathered on, I could only wonder why so many conspiracy nutjobs love him. Will Ronald Pauly expose the truth behind 9/11? I don't know, but in the meantime his supporters rushed to the online polls to declare this wackjob the winner. Glory be.
Fred Thompson, savior of the conservative movement, was bravely not in attendence. He probably slept through the debate, along with most Americans. He's only used to hanging out in his air-conditioned trailer, occasionally stepping out to recite a few lines for his breathless Law and Order fanbase.
Newt Gingrich recently said that we're losing the War on Terror. Once the leader of the Republican Revolution, Newt is reduced to reading from the Cindy Sheehan script. Newt Gingrich: Defeatist. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
When Sam Brownback spoke, I knew he was the only hope for a GOP that was holding its breath. He's got the right message. And like him or hate him, at least he's honest about his beliefs. I can't say the same for the other candidates in the top tier.
Yet conventional wisdom and the polls that blindly follow along say only Rudy McRomney has a chance. For those unfamiliar with this term, Rudy McRomney (Giuliani-McCain-Romney) is about as acceptable to true conservatives as Hillary Clinton is to supporters of Dennis Kucinich. I think you get my meaning.
What has become of my party? I'm sure that you Kossacks are pleased that the GOP has such slim pickings this cycle. And why not? The DNC choices are about as appealing.
What has become of your party? Are you satisfied with the choices you are required to make? Is this all there is to choose from?
What has become of our country? Are these the best qualified people to run the greatest country on the face of the Earth in the whole of history? If so, I weep for my country. I weep for your country. I weep for the world. We, all of us, deserve better.
Anyhow, wish me luck as I slog through the GOP Debate that aired this Sunday. I may not survive it.
As an aside: The CNN/YouTube may have been dorky and the candidates repulsive, but so far, halfway through the ABC debate, I rate it three pliars. It's like pulling teeth sitting through this thing. A root canal would be welcomed at this point.
Exit Question 1: If you watched the GOP debate, what were your impressions?
Exit Question 2: Would you like to see all of the Republican candidates at the next CNN/YouTube Debate? If so, Save the Debate.
-- Psycheout